Cheers to Ten Years: Reflections on the Goodness of God

As my husband and I approach ten years of marriage, I’ve been reflecting on the span of our relationship—how it has developed through the years.

I have been considering what has stayed core to who we are as individuals, what has stayed core to who we are as a married couple, and what has ebbed, flowed, and altered as the years have gone by.

To paint you a picture of our early years, we met at a college ministry event—and it’s worth mentioning, it wasn’t a stuffy one. We spent the first five-ish years of our marriage deeply involved in a ministry that made its mission to bring the gospel to every kid. Not just the church kids, or the put-together kids, or the faith-background kids… every kid.

This ministry wasn’t just intended for the strong and the serious—it was one that opened its warmth to the least of these. It was a ministry that welcomed and embraced people from all walks of life, and sought to show them the extravagant and beautiful truth held out in the gospel.

The gospel was central to this ministry, and our lives became swept up in that mission.

The early years of our relationship were youth-centric. Hardly more than youths ourselves, we knew we shared a strong desire to chase after Jesus and love the world around us in his name. We served to bring the gospel to pretty much any population younger than we were ourselves; we had seen the power of relationship, and the doors that authentic relationship opened for sharing the most loving truth in the world.

While we have come a long way from square dances, pies-in-the-face, and having a hundred high-schoolers singing pop music in our basement… I love thinking about the young “us”. And while our current lives are a bit quieter and steadier than they were back then, our deepest desires have remained the same.

You see, I wouldn’t have described it this way at the time, but my husband and I have always viewed our walk with Jesus as an adventure—an adventure that’s worth inviting people into.

As I’ve explored different sects of faith communities, I’ve lost sight of this at times. My own desire to be “good” has tempted me into the throes of legalism, while my husband has remained steadily committed to the freedom and grace held out in the gospel.

There were years that this really challenged me. I thought spiritual leadership looked like laying a heavy yoke on our family—but instead, he consistently modeled the way of Christ, gently leading us into free and light living.

Anyone who knows Brian well might describe him this way: free, lighthearted, and fiercely committed to the gospel. At times, it felt like this freedom was assaulting my attempt to attain righteousness on my own, but as the years have passed, I have seen how he is the man that God so desperately knew I needed—and the one who I can’t wait to spend another decade pursuing Christ alongside.

Even in the times of our marriage that felt conflicting or confusing, I can look back and see how God was using who Brian is to shape me and refine me into a woman of deeper faith.

God has brought us on a journey to lift his name high.

This was what we wanted from our union when it began, and while these last ten years have made us feel like total opposites at times—he’s an extroverted adrenaline-junkie who could carry on a riveting conversation with anyone, anytime; I’m an introverted quiet-seeker, who could stay content pondering the depths of life in a creative environment for hours alone—it has become clear how God has used our differences for the glory of his name.

What may appear as a contradiction comes together in the most beautiful way as we both embrace--in the unique way God made each of us—a love for the Wonderful Gospel, and our desire to share that glory with the world.

That has been, and remains, a core value of who we are as the pair God made us to be. (That and the critical nature of queso blanco in our lives…)

May we put the light of the Lord on display as we each shine as unique displays of his splendor, inviting the world around us to know and embrace the glory of his Name.

Happy ten, Brian. :) Cheers to the next decade!