Cultivating Quiet: Practical Boundaries for the Deeper Life
I’m so glad you’ve decided to come along on this journey titled “Cultivating Quiet”. So far, here is what we have covered:
An Introduction: Filled with reminders that we are Cultivating Quiet so that we might rest in the beauty of the Gospel. Choosing Quiet means turning down the radio static of this world, our flesh, and the enemy, and pressing into the sweet songs of grace.
Enlisting Help from the Rescuer of Souls: This writing reminded us to not embark on any of this in our own strength—but to turn to the Lord for help in our pursuit of Quiet. As we fight against the loud lies and chaotic currents that threaten to sweep us up, we humble ourselves before the Lord, calling on his strength and guidance.
Get Your Gospel On (Armor Up!): Here, we unpacked the end-goal of enemy attack: undermining our faith and bringing destruction into our lives. We explored how to put on the armor of God daily and to stand firm on the promises of Peace.
Exposing Common Lies Which Steal our Peace: We have gotten specific about particular lies we might be believing that are preventing us from Resting in the Peace of God.
And now—we are getting practical. I hope you are understanding by now that Peace, Joy, and Abundant Grace have been purchased for us by the sacrifice of Jesus. When we are having a hard time grasping these beautiful truths, often it’s because a louder message has vied for our attention. The noise we encounter is the enemy shouting—trying to confuse us, scare us, and overwhelm us so that we don’t live into the fullness of Life intended for us by our Savior.
This might come in the form of a racing mind, overwhelming fear, anxiety, the heaviness of depression, confusion, and then some. Our goal here is to expose the roots of some of those experiences, and “turn down the noise” so that we can once again hear the sweet Gospel truth.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12 NIV
We are calling the Enemy out for the havoc he has wreaked, and we are fighting back. We have covered the basic tenets of God’s saving help for us, and our identities in Christ. Now, as we hold fast to those key truths, and seek to lean into God’s soft and personal voice in our life—directing us, guiding us, and comforting us—we will break down practical ways to shut down external noise and hear more clearly.
We have spent most of the time so far in the series exposing internal noise. Now, we are turning our gaze outward, and considering what external factors may be impacting our ability to cultivate Quiet hearts.
In other words, are there any habits we have fallen into that could be adding to the noise?
Our Lives Affect Our Hearts (and Vice Versa)
How we spend our days affects our hearts. The choices we make with our bodies impact our hearts, minds, and souls—not to mention the lives of those around us. We are wise to consider where we go, and what we do—especially as we seek to bring our lives into submission under Jesus, our Prince of Peace. (Ephesians 5:15-17, Proverbs 4:26)
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Proverbs 4:26 NIV
I believe our enemy knows this, and seeks to draw us into unwise patterns of living. Some of these temptations make us overtired and cranky. Some just distract us from the state of our souls and from life-giving connections with others.
Perhaps you’ve heard the old adage by Corrie ten Boom, “if the devil can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy”. He wants to hinder our view of God’s goodness and mercy, to steal our joy, and bring ache to our bodies.
As we aim to bring God’s Kingdom of Peace to our personal spheres, our enemy is trying to sneak in and bring chaos. It’s as though we have cultivated our own little Eden Gardens—where the ways of God are worshiped and fellowship is known—and our enemy is attempting to sneak in and plant weeds.
Thankfully, we are given wisdom from God’s Word, the body of Christ, and the Spirit himself to guide our lives to flourish. Jesus is our good shepherd, leading us to refreshing places. Here’s how he describes himself:
I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. John 10:14-15 NIV
In Jesus, our ultimate victory has already been won! And as we walk through this side of eternity, we follow his voice, trusting him as Our Good Shepherd.
May this post serve humbly as a tool God may use to bring freedom, rest, and joy into your life—by exploring practical boundaries—to the glory of His Name.
We are going to dive into five areas of life we get to set healthy boundaries around—boundaries that actually add to our freedom and enhance our lives.
Boundaries aren’t about being controlled; they’re about willingly following the voice of Jesus. They’re about having self-control—as you, yourself, choose to go where God is calling you. Having boundaries isn’t entrapping you in a set of legalistic rules you’re bound to follow without thinking. Rather, having boundaries is about living a life aligned with your deepest desires, as they align with the will of God.
It’s about running the race God sets before you, unhindered, and about going where God would have you go, boldly. It’s about identifying what’s pulling you off course and offering a firm “NO” so that you can say “YES” to what you truly desire: an intimate life with Jesus, following his course.
We know that our actions impact our heart. But It’s kind of ironic (and a little fun)—to remember that our heart also impacts our actions:
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV
So as we consider the practical actions ahead, we will be touching on the reasons behind the actions. My hope is that by digging into these depths of reasoning, you will grasp at the heart-level “why” these potential boundaries might benefit you. And may the Spirit use that heart-change to prompt life-giving action steps.
We will break down five practical topics involving boundaries:
what you fill your mind with
what you schedule
what you eat, drink, and do
who you serve
what you allow as “input”
Prayerfully consider what’s ahead. Process with the Holy Spirit and ask God if there are life-giving changes you’re being invited into.
Walking in accordance with The Holy Spirit leads to our peace, and is a crucial step to cultivating Quieter hearts and minds. So then, this portion titled, “Practical Boundaries for the Deeper Life” won’t consist of black-and-white boundaries as much as it will consist of topics for you to prayerfully consider. Have fun, now!
Keep an eye out for the “OPPORTUNITIES FOR REFLECTION”. These will provide questions for you to prayerfully consider, as you seek to step into deeper experiences of freedom and peace.
Choosing Wisdom’s Table (to Protect Your Heart)
As we aim to expose unholy noise in our lives, it’s important to consider the people and places we are investing our time into.
If you opened up your bible to Proverbs 9, you would find an interesting choice laid out: one can either choose to sit at the table of “Lady Wisdom” or “Lady Folly”. Both ladies offer enticements—but one leads to flourishing life and one leads to crippling death.
In other words, there is messaging everywhere about which paths to take in life, and about what mindsets to adopt. Some are messages of wisdom—which appeal to the Spirit within us. Some are worldly messages—which appeal to our flesh.
Life in the Spirit leads to life and peace. Living life according to the flesh is killer.
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 NIV
The really interesting thing—in light of our talk about Quiet and Noise—is that “Lady Folly” is described as clamorous, or unruly. (Proverbs 9:13) A deep dive into this word would indicate that folly is tumultuous, full of commotion, growling, and boisterous. Folly brings the opposite of peace.
In other words, if a person is to cultivate a Quiet Heart and a peaceful life, they don’t want to come near folly with a ten-foot-pole!
We want to sit at the table of Wisdom, in pursuit of the messages which align with the Spirit of God at work within us. And this is exactly the concept we get to build on as we consider the one who finds Wisdom. Listen to this description of our Beautiful Lady Wisdom:
Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. Proverbs 3:17-18 NIV
Ahh, did that make you sigh with relief? I loved reading that description of Lady Wisdom. Pleasantness and peace. These are the wise ways of our Heavenly King. Wisdom is the road to life.
Getting practical, I’d love to highlight three core ways we might really treasure Wisdom for all that it is. We will discuss the Ultimate Wisdom of the Gospel, who to avoid if we aren’t into Folly, and some simple ways to plant wisdom into your heart.
As always, let’s get started with the Gospel…
There is an awesome little piece in Ephesians 3:10-11 that brings the concept of wisdom to a crescendo: what God accomplished through Christ displays the Ultimate Wisdom of God. If this is true, then we would be ultimately wise to keep the cross (and ressurrection) at the forefront of our hearts and minds—remembering how God mercifully made a way for salvation by faith. Two posts ago, we broke down the Armor of God, and how to daily keep this knowledge in view. I’d encourage you to read through it as you better understand how to clothe yourself in God’s Ultimate Wisdom.
And this is God's plan: Both Gentiles and Jews who believe the Good News share equally in the riches inherited by God's children. Both are part of the same body, and both enjoy the promise of blessings because they belong to Christ Jesus. Ephesians 3:6 NLT
Fixing our hearts and minds on the Gospel is key. Beyond that, to put ourselves in the way of Wisdom, a few things come to mind: avoiding those who mock God’s wisdom, and carving opportunities to soak in God’s true precepts.
We are advised—in both the Old Testament and New—to avoid mockers. A mocker is anyone who scoffs at the good news of Jesus. It’s someone who—when you mention God’s goodness, or other gracious truths—views it as unimportant or even despicable. Mockers ridicule the faith, or find it to be pointless. (Matthew 7:6, Psalm 1:1-2)
Now, please note: people who don’t know Jesus are not automatically mockers. I know labels like “mockers” can feel uncomfortable because we might say to ourselves, “But doesn’t Jesus love everybody?” —or— “But then, who will go to the lost that they might be saved?” —or— “Aren’t we all sinners?”
“Sinner” doesn’t equate to “mocker”. Jesus hung with sinners. Even more, he had dinner with them, took walks with them… he revealed himself to them. (Mark 2:15-17)
And I love the truth that God shines his beautiful grace on both the good and the wicked. (Matthew 5:45)
This wisdom here then, is less about our heart towards mockers, and more about the practical protection of our own faith journeys.
Jesus sent his disciples out to spread the Gospel, but he also said that if people didn’t receive the message, his disciples were to “dust off their feet” and head to the next place. (Matthew 10:14)
I believe that we are called to bring the grace of Jesus with us wherever we go, but to be wise and observing of the response it’s met with. It doesn’t matter how messy, broken, lost, or hurting, someone is; nobody is ever too far for God’s goodness and grace. And if they are thirsty for the living water of Jesus, we ought to share with them and spend our time pouring forth the Gospel.
On the flip side, it doesn’t matter how “cleaned up” someone’s life looks on the outside. If they are riddled with contempt for Jesus, if they view faith as unimportant, stupid, or pointless, I believe it’s wise to walk the other way.
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. Psalms 1:1-2 NIV
Let’s guard our hearts from those who seek to poke holes in our faith—and spend out time instead meditating on the goodness of God, and sharing that goodness with those we encounter.
Did you catch that: meditate on the good ways of God! Plant so many seeds of faith that weeds can’t even steal enough soil to sprout up.
One simple way to do this, is to read a chapter of Proverbs according to the day of the month it is. (August 1st=Proverbs 1. August 2nd=Proverbs 2., etc.) Other ways might be to listen to worship music that fills your soul with goodness. Connect with other believers and allow their spiritual gifts to edify you. Read the Word—any of it, all of it! Soak in Creation.
Whatever you do, choose the seat at Lady Wisdom’s table, and know that peace will follow along.
OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION: How big of a role does pursuing wisdom play in your daily life? Are there a few minutes of your day that sound enticing to incorporate Proverbs or other Bible reading into? Are there sources of “mockery” you would like to prune away, as a means to a more fruitful spiritual journey?
Guarding Your Schedule (to Support Your Calling)
I’m very aware in writing this that the word “boundaries” can cause some people to start shaking in their boots. Saying “no” to people can feel really scary, and even if we are doing it for all the right reasons, people can still meet our “no” with contempt. And yet, this isn’t a call to set up the blockade of “no” callously or insensitively, but rather, these boundaries are about boldly following the call of Jesus (and doing so with love and a tender heart towards others).
Eek. Boundaries. What a topic. Let’s not delay any further!
Here’s the good part: setting boundaries around our lives and schedules helps to usher forth the goodness of God as they enable us to walk in his calling over our lives—and love the world in the specific, purposeful way he’s created us to do so.
There are some key Scriptures that remind our hearts of God’s special intentions in crafting us and setting our days. First, there is Psalm 139. Basically the whole thing… but there are a few really impactful verses that discuss God setting forth on the plan of making each of us.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16 NIV
The crafting of you was an intentional work. Your very core, or inmost being—your emotions, interests, desires, and thoughts—were designed by a purposeful God. You’re not supposed to want to spend your time just like everyone else. You’re not supposed to want to serve just how your best friend does.
It doesn’t mean we are millennial divas—pursuing self-actualization (to a fault) and special treatment—but simply that we would be wise to seek our Maker as we schedule our days, trusting that he knows us better than we could ever know ourselves.
Just as our salvation isn’t by our own doing, so our good works, and the things we fill our schedules with, ought to be by God’s hand—directing us according to his perfect callings. And therefore, to his ultimate glory. This next goodie—regarding our being God’s handiwork—comes from Ephesians:
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10 NIV
Because our lives are so intentionally special, I’m gonna go there with the boundaries talk. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Because I want you to shine God’s glorious light in the most full and beautiful way that he has crafted you to. I’m going to invite you to start guarding your calendar, and saying “no” to some things, in order to give a big, fat “yes” to all the Perfect Plans of God.
To begin: a story…
Two summers ago, I was invited to do a Christian book club with women from church. I really liked all of these women. I was interested in the book. And it seemed like a “good thing” to do, right? It was a Christian book study about knowing your identity in Jesus!
So… I couldn’t figure out why I simply didn’t want to participate. Now, sometimes, I believe the enemy can attack good opportunities for fellowship and growth and we ought to be watchful for this, which makes this next move so crucial: I prayed about it. I asked Jesus what he had for my summer.
Honestly, I think I expected him to shift my heart into a yes. But… he didn’t. I felt more convicted in my choice to say “no”. But I felt nervous to decline, too. What if they thought I didn’t care about my identity in Christ? What if they felt like I didn’t like them? What if they thought I just wanted a lazy summer without growth?
Despite my fears, I just had this sense in my heart that it wasn’t what God has for me. I felt a strong “no” in my spirit, and so I decided to decline.
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 NIV
My fear of what others would think threatened to control my calendar. Leaning into God’s Spirit set me free. And do you want to know what happened almost immediately after I gave my bold “no” to participating?
I ended up connected with a friend who needed childcare in the evenings so she could go to a church group… the same day of the week that my book study would have been on! This was a real believer, who had real needs, who I had the capacity to help because I had protected my calendar.
I was delighted to help her in this way. And the presence of her son ended up being a huge blessing to our home on those weeknights. It wasn’t that I declined the book club because I didn’t want to give my time for “God stuff”; it was that God had a special intention for my time—an intention that brought me life, even as I laid my time down for another church member.
I was able to give my time to her, not begrudgingly, but cheerfully. It was so much better that way.
You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT
May we pray continually. When potential commitments come our way, may we ask God what he thinks about them. May we not let fear (of what others think) or shame (over our true interests) control our calendar. God crafted us with intention and if we’d rather babysit a believer’s child versus go to a book club, is it possible he planted that desire in our hearts? Let’s pray and ask him!
The entire Bible is ridden with examples of people who inquired of the Lord… and examples of those who did not. I’ll just tell you right now: things went a lot better for the ones who inquired of the Lord! He loves us, and he wants to give generous wisdom to those who ask. (1 Samuel 30:8, James 1:5)
You may remember, a few weeks back, we dug into Isaiah 30 together. (Revisit it here.) We studied a time when God’s people took matters into their own hands rather than seeking the help of the living God. They were making moves apart from the Spirit of God, and put frankly, this was not good!
May we, by the power of the Holy Spirit, be reminded to seek God continually.
May we step forward as God created us—with the gifts, goals, and passions he has knit inside of us—and seek His Will in every decision we make.
And as we place ourselves under the direction of The Spirit of Peace, may we find that our schedules aren’t over-committed and burdensome with the wrong stuff, but life-giving and intentional with the right stuff—as we serve the world around us in accordance with the will of God.
I’ve had seasons where my schedule was emptier—according to God’s will. And I’ve had crazy-busy seasons—according to God’s will. Either way, when I sought his plans and stepped forward boldly, his peace was with me all-the-while.
May we live freely, boldly, and unashamed as we seek to let the Spirit be our guide.
OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION: When you make calendar moves, what factors drive you? Obligation? Not wanting to upset anyone? The Holy Spirit’s guidance? Ask the Lord about current choices that lay before you, and see if your inclinations around these events change or remain the same.
Healthy Choices (for a Vibrant Life)
Okay… it’s confession time. And this isn’t a cutesy confession either. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but at the same time, I believe it’s a great example of what not to do, so here it goes…
Two weeks ago, I watched Netflix until midnight and ate the better portion of a bag of potato chips. Maybe this shocks you. Maybe you’re thinking “What’s the big deal? Sounds like a Tuesday night!”
No matter how rare or regular this might be for you, let’s break down how I felt the next morning: quite dehydrated from way too much salt intake, kind of sick, ornery, and tired. Definitely not like Super Mom.
I was feeling like garbage the next day, and was so snappy with my kids.
I prayed pretty much nonstop the next morning that God would help me with my crankiness… to no avail. Finally, around midday, I cried out. “What is going on, God? I’ve been praying all morning and I still feel as irritable as can be!” Instantly, my heart was reminded of my chips and Netflix binge.
Now, I really hesitated to share this section with you. Because I don’t want you to be like “Wow, this is so shallow…” or “Okay, are you shaming my junk food?” But it honestly felt like an epiphany moment leading up to this writing that how we use our body matters.
How often are we praying for God to give us energy or a happier attitude, but ignoring the sweet, gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit for actual, practical lifestyle changes that would lead to our good?
We have so much freedom in Christ, but am I actually living in that freedom if I “can’t help” but eat trash and stay up too late watching TV? And then I am cranky “out-of-my-control” the next day?
Maybe freedom actually looks like asking the Holy Spirit if there are areas he is inviting you to lean on Him for self-discipline, and in doing so, he will bring about more fruit in your life.
What if God isn’t inviting you to skip the trash food, excessive alcohol, incessant scrolling, etc. because he’s mad at you? What if he is doing it because he is a Father that loves you?
Discipline isn’t easy, but it produces peace. I love this portion from Hebrews, about our struggles with sin:
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Hebrews 12:12-13 NIV
Choosing self-discipline (or rather, yielding to God’s discipline by the power of the Holy Spirit), leads to peace, righteousness and healing.
In our journey to peace, may we not neglect the loving and gentle discipline of our Heavenly Father! May we cut out what’s entangling us so that we can run our races more freely.
We are given so much freedom in our relationship with God, but to take another angle: not everything we are allowed to do would be good for us to do.
Just because something is permissible, doesn’t make it beneficial:
All things are lawful [that is, morally legitimate, permissible], but not all things are beneficial or advantageous. All things are lawful, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life]. 1 Corinthians 10:23 AMP
Contextually, Paul wrote this verse to church members who were using their Christian freedom in ways that made other people feel really conflicted. I believe these wise words considering the true nature of Christian freedom ring true in most areas. We are uncondemned in Christ, but we are called to walk in wisdom, choosing what is beneficial.
You see, we don’t make disciplined choices because we have to. We do our best to make glorifying choices with our bodies because they are homes to The Holy Spirit.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-29 NIV
It’s not about being a health freak or any black-and-white rule... It’s about asking Jesus what he may like to prune in your lifestyle in order to produce more fruit.
At times, he may invite us to feast, to dine merrily and heartily, for the glory of his name. At other times, he may call us to neglect choosing pleasure in our late night Hot Cocoa or Tequila-Soda patterns, so that we can find greater pleasure in Him, and perhaps even heal our physical health a bit!
The questions are these: where is the voice of Jesus leading you, today? And do you trust he is leading you to life and peace? What disciplines could he be inviting you into?
OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION: What would self-control look like in this season? Or is there a certain area you long for more discipline, but feel “stuck”? Ask God for help, and for his hand to guide you. (Much of this doesn’t come down to right-versus-wrong, but rather holds invitation for more abundant Life as you weed out what isn’t serving Kingdom purposes.)
Generous Living (for a Free Spirit)
As we seek to set boundaries around our calendar, health choices, and social interactions… may we not forget to tame our own fleshly nature in the process. (Hmm… “fleshly nature” is kind of a gross-sounding phrase, albeit fitting. That flesh is nasty!)
I know it might sound impossible sometimes, but actively choosing to serve others’ interests instead of your own will actually bring so much desired peace into your life.
I tread this ground with due caution, as a recovering people-pleaser; I spent a lot of my life muzzling my own desires and resentfully muscling through doing what others wanted all the time. The fruit of this behavior was contempt and, honestly, a sad heart.
This is not the way of God! So let’s talk about how to live generously, and cheerfully—from the heart, to the glory of God. Shall we?!
To begin, let’s remember: life with God is about freedom. Spirit things are freedom things.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV
So, if you are trying to do what other people want from a place of feeling like you have to—either because a person will be mad if you don’t, or you’ll feel “like a bad person” if you don’t, etc.—that’s not the starting point we aim for.
Shame doesn’t get to drive our lives. And other people don’t get to drive our lives.
We have been given autonomy in our own lives—and we are invited to willingly lay that autonomy down at the foot of the cross, for Kingdom purposes.
The question we must ask is this: what is it about the Gospel that would cause one to willingly lay their own lives down? And not begrudgingly, truly cheerfully. I shared this verse earlier in the post, but it’s worth laying out again:
Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV
What’s special about this, is God always seems to be starting at the heart level. And with freedom in play.
So much of the Christian life is about us pouring out what God has so generously poured on us. “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) “We comfort others with the comfort we received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:4) So on, and so forth.
Christian living begins and ends with Jesus. If you are having a hard time laying down your own interests, could it be because you haven’t yet grasped the truth that you’re not really laying them aside as much as you’re laying them at the feet of Jesus?
We are able to live generously, cheerfully, only have we have truly understood that God loves us, and any calling he gives us towards goodness will result in our ultimate good—either here on earth or by a very real heavenly reward.
Sometimes we walk around like God just wants us to give up everything—and that’s what it means to “take up our cross”. But lest we forget that Jesus didn’t just take up his cross to calvary, but was actually resurrected in eternal heavenly glory?!
Taking up our cross means following Jesus—first to death, then to life eternal.
May we soak in that beautiful truth, and may the reality of heaven, and God’s “having-our-back” in the present drive us to unclench our firsts from our own circumstances and possessions.
We can trust that if we are called, as followers of Jesus, to live humbly, selflessly, gently, and generously, that this will actually lead to Abundant Life! This invitation to choose to serve others isn’t to your own demise—it’s tapping into a deeper understanding that the Christian life is actually the true route to a joy-filled existence.
Furthermore, and continuing in the thread of Freedom… may we not forget the wise words of Peter:
…people are slaves to whatever has mastered them. 2 Peter 2:19 NIV
If we are seeking to satisfy our own desires, we are actually enslaved to whatever fleeting “want” we have. This is entirely different than observing our God-given dreams and passions, and laying them at the foot of the cross—willingly making yourself a slave to Jesus.
We can lay our desires at his feet, and honestly—he handles them so much better! He came so that we could have abundant life. Peace, joy, and then some! We can trust him!
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. John 10:10 NLT
In Philippians 4, Paul describes a life of surrender: content with little or much. How does he “pull it off”? He lays in out right here in this oft-quoted piece of Scripture:
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 NIV
We can serve God with the strength that he himself provides.
Because that’s who we are ultimately serving: serving others is a form of serving God. (Matthew 25:40-45) This isn’t about pleasing people, it’s about pleasing God. And it’s not even about surrendering to others so much as it’s surrendering to God’s call on our lives as we trust him.
This is a helpful discrepancy to observe because it can keep us from becoming ensnared by people pleasing, and rather keeping our hearts purely in devotion to the Lord as we serve others.
By laying down our own interests, by living a life to serve Jesus, we actually become unshakably joyful—because we are no longer placing our happiness stake in our own wants being fulfilled.
We, instead, get to surrender those wants to God himself. And remember—he cares about us and our desires! He made good things for our delight and pleasure—but he was always intended to be the source of our blessings. We weren’t meant to strive anxiously for what we want. We were meant to lay our lives down at his feet, trusting his love.
Practice generosity and selfless living, as an intentional rhythm, by the power of God’s Holy Spirit carrying you along—and watch your cup overflow.
Yield to the Spirit, planting seeds of surrender, and watch spiritual fruit abound:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control… Galatians 5:22-23 NIV
Living in accordance with the Spirit is the way to true peace. We can do this by asking God to give us hearts of surrender, and aiming to crucify our flesh as often as we see the opportunity. We are able to do this—not begrudgingly—but with love and cheer, as we grow in our trust that Jesus truly has our best interest in heart and at hand.
OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION: When you think about not getting your way, how do you feel? Do you want to ask God for a deeper knowledge of his Lovingkindness and Care? Is there a specific area in your life right now that you might try to lay your own interests down, as you entrust your life to God? See what happens when you do: take note of how you feel, and how God provides for your deepest desires.
Limiting Public Input (for a Refreshing Home Life)
I’m going to talk about social media, but before I do, let me assure you: there isn’t a rant ahead. Well, not really…
I’m not going to encourage anyone to delete their accounts and move to the Amish country—not any more than I would tell you to avoid Starbucks, the local book store, or any other public sphere.
Instagram and other forms of social media are a collection of messages, voices, announcements, and propagandas. When we encounter input in the world, we must exercise discernment. This discernment takes energy. And all of these voices—scrolled through at jet-speed—can leave our ears ringing; it can take effort to quiet all that noise.
So, instead of marking Instagram itself as “good” or “bad”, let’s think of it as a busy, public marketplace swirling with inputs—some innocent, some devious, all requiring the effortful filter of being run by our Christian worldview.
Many of us invite this swirling market into our waking moments, our children’s lunchtimes, our bathroom, and our bedtimes. We welcome these messages when our minds feel strong, but also at times of vulnerability: when we are at a birthday dinner, in a fight with our spouse, or having our time alone with Jesus…
What I am going to do, is invite you to prayerfully consider what it does to your heart when you give the “public entity” of social media unlimited access to the private spaces of your home and heart.
I believe that homes serve a beautiful purpose: they give us a place of rest, joy, solitude, and reprieve—away from the public arena. There is a reason we get get roommates, or get married, or cultivate homes in which we have people whom we relate to, and find rest in places where our values are—for the most part—unassaulted. There’s no place like home. Sweet, comforting, home, where we can let our guard down…
I’m concerned we have set aside this rest by offering the invitation for the public arena to have unlimited access in our homes—places intended to offer us peace, and quiet. Through the means of social, and other medias.
Our battle isn’t against flesh (or apps)—it’s against ideologies and lies. (Ephesians 6:12) And unfortunately, our feeds are ridden with them. I’m not demonizing our apps, but am simply viewing social media as an extension of the world and acknowledging the reality that what we encounter there requires discernment, and if our souls are weary, perhaps it’s causing mental exhaustion, when some reprieve would bless us!
Even if you have meticulously cleaned up who you follow, scrolling through your Instagram feed might feel like playing the game “Two Truths and a Lie”. It’s a place filled with ideas that we take in at rapid speed—as followers of Jesus, we aim to practice discernment with the input we take in, but what an exhausting practice for our mind out take so much in, so quickly!
We call it mindless, but it’s actually mind-numbingly hectic for the discerning soul.
Hear me: I promise, I’m really not saying Instagram is all bad. This is just an invitation to prayerfully consider the quantity and quality of your input. To realistically assess—through the support of prayerful reflection—how much you can take in and how it’s impacting your life and mind.
I had a friend once who took a break from social media. She recalled soaking in a bubble bath and not being able to get over how “quiet” it was. There was no feed buzzing in the background. Because even if we set our phones aside, our minds are often still buzzing with what we just took in, or what we want to share out to the world. It’s thought-consuming, this energetic, nonstop public arena that has moved into our private lives…
This isn’t a shameful reproach, but a loving plea for the sake of your soul: consider what your personal call is regarding social media. And if you feel entrapped, enlist help from Jesus. He hears us; he helps us.
In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. Psalm 18:6 NIV
As believers, we have been given incomparably great power. (2 Timothy 1:7, Ephesians 1:19)
Sometimes the “I can’t stop scrolling” mentality is a lie from the enemy to keep you stuck. What if you can stop? What if God’s power that is at work with us is greater than worldly power? What if he has already given us ideas for helpful boundaries or inspired us and we just need to take hold and walk in it?
I don’t know what God is calling you towards. I’ve had seasons away from social media, and seasons within it. I do see the benefits of it. However, I will say that my seasons away have felt quieter, simpler, and more peaceful, and if that is what your soul needs right now, I pray you will feel courageous to yield to the Spirit’s promptings and enjoy the blessings that follow.
OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION: Would you describe your relationship with social (and other) media as one where you feel free, or controlled? Prayerfully consider your deepest reasons for incorporating these apps into your life (pleasure, connection, business, etc.), and ask the Lord if these are the routes he would have you use to accomplish good ends, or if he is calling you away from these spheres. And remember, his saving help is just a prayer away. He desires freedom for you, whatever that looks like!
I hope this writing has given you some practical ideas intended to help you usher more Quiet into your life. Or rather, to push aside what’s fighting to drown out the Quiet.
Walk forward in freedom, and may these practical considerations add peace to your days!
